Ideas nobody asked for, and refuse to pay for.

Have you ever been on one of those exploratory fishing trips with no particular destination in mind when your random path brings you to a nice outcropping of rocks overlooking a small forest river or stream and then suddenly below you see a lunker just serenely surfing the current? You excitedly bait a hook and cast slightly beyond the beast and then reel the invitation slowly over it while anticipating the mouth-watering supper to come. But there’s just one problem, the fish refuses to cooperate. In fact, it refuses even to politely acknowledge your existence. You practically put the bait in its mouth but as far as the fish seems to be concerned, both you and your lure fail to materialize in its world no matter how many times you repeat the ritual. You might then contemplate spear-fishing, but short of a handy spear—or the ability to manifest one—you find yourself out of options as long as the hard-headed fish refuses to play ball.

This frustrating scenario might seem all too familiar when we take a look at various other encounters during our lives. And, if you haven’t already guessed, one such encounter is what Mikey will attempt to purge from his being in writing this Post. It will be difficult to make this long story short, but he will do his best.

The story actually starts in 1971 when a very silky-voiced recording artist named Harry Nilsson released the slightly strange and somewhat hypnotic song called Coconut. Some years later, Mikey heard it for the first time, but once you hear it, it never really leaves you. Fast forward a few more years and suddenly all the rage was drinking a nice cold Corona in a bottle with an added slice of lime—Corona, a Mexican import, was introduced in the USA in the late 70s. At some point the two merged in Mikey’s mind and voilà, the light bulb explodes. And that is probably all that it takes to flip the switch to ON in the minds of many readers, but Mikey will elaborate a bit more for the younger ones.

You Put the Lime in… Never Mind

Everyone has their lunker story and this suddenly became Mikey’s. He had only to convince the owners of Corona that this was THE COMMERCIAL that they had been waiting for. But now the original setup can play its role in Mikey’s story—SILENCE, and a deafening one. First of all, large corporations will apparently only use ads developed internally, no matter how superior one originating from outside the company might obviously be. And despite the significant number of times he made the cast and the different baits he tried, the lure refused to attract the attention of the uninterested behemoth Constellation Brands. They simply were not biting, no matter how many bottles of Corona this “brilliant commercial” undoubtedly would have sold. Finally, dejectedly embracing his embarrassing kinship with Smykowski and the dreadful “Jump to Conclusions,” the disappointed Mikey and the highly irritated Mikey C abandoned ship.

“Find your beach”—bwahahahahaha…

Mikey C, ranting in the background, can be heard repeating endlessly “people get paid for that drivel, are you kidding me?” And so, after living rent-free for such a long stay at camp Mikey, the Corona and Coconut combo suddenly found themselves back where they had begun the unconsummated journey—displaced and without a partner.

The song that had never left Mikey’s mind… finally booted.

“You put the lime in Corona—and you drink it all up..

Too catchy. Too fun. Too perfect. Evidently…